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Family - divorce

2010.03.22

Divorce (Laci)

Divorce is usually the final phase of a bad marrige when the partners split up. Nowadays the number of divorces is higher and higher . Usually the wife and the husband get bored with each other or one of them have a lover . This things can cause divorce. But domestic violence is often the case too. In this process the hardest things are the child’s placement and the wherewithal. Unfortunatly in all respects the the child is the looser in this fight.. I think it would be important for all children to have a mother and a father too because it would help their character development and their normal mental processes.

 

Divorce: a blessing or a curse?

Unfortunately in nowadays divorce is a very important problem, due to the stressful, and more and more busier lifestyle. This is why less and less time remain for the family, so people usually forget to talk with each other, and they often bring home the problems, for example conflicts in workplaces. This way amount to people break up their marriage. But what will be after the divorce? It’s clear for everyone, in divorce both of the people suffer in spiritually, but what about the children? I guess it’s more harder for they. They love both parents, and they sometimes force them to choose her/his mom or dad. And children have to choose, or the judgement will decide. It causes the stress between parents, that’s why they completely hate the other. Just think about it, how easily can love change to hate. People who were fall in love some time ago…

Sz. Fruzsi

Divorcing-blessing or curse? (Anett) 
 

Divorce is the final termination of marriage, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between married persons.It happens because of several reasons, like financial problems, or the lack of love.Mainly those couples decide besides divorcing who are not able to get on well with each other, or not managed to live together.In most cases they cannot solve problems together through this they make more and more cause to argue.It has bad affect on their children, they are the ones who suffer the most in this situation.Some say divorcing is better than being stuck in a family where arguing are usual and parents only deal with each other and not with the feelings of their kids.But everybody should see how many kickbacks does the divorcing has.People burst children from one of their parents.In cases when the child is the one who can decide who she/he wants to live with things turn more difficult.Parents will try anything possible in order to get their children’s vote, like spoiling them or make the child turn against the other parent which can cause many more problems.It changes the whole life of the family.Not only the parents’ life, because they are likely to have an other partner who they can try to build up a totally new life with.But it’s not as easy for the children who are suffering from the situation.They have to be taken out from their everyday surroundings.They have to realize that they aren’t living in a loving family anymore.They have to get used to the situation that their parents are like enemies.They will fight for their rights in connection with the child.Children easily can be fed up with this, and they became agressive,unmanageable.People should think about more before they decide besides divorcing.They should try to put themselves into their child’s shoes.It’s a kind of selfish thing, trying to escape from this situation, hoping for a better life, what’s- see it realistic- not so feasible.It’s a fact that children are the ones who suffer the most when it comes to divorcing,and it will influence their whole lives, so couples must realize how much trouble do they cause to their loved ones.

***

The importance of family 
 
 

The saying goes that you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.Family is a very important part of everyday life.It’s a safety-emotional,physical- for those who has  strong family ties.Life is easier for those who has grown up in a loving family, where they could count on each other in every cases.Parents show examples to their kids wich they will be able to use in their own life when they get there.Those children who had caring family likely to have a happier life than others who hadn’t got enough attention.Families help to create the future.Each parent has a different way for upbringing.Some are strict, and thinks with crack down they can reach what they want from their children.Others are indulgent in order to get the kids’trust.Some parents are unable to upbring their child.If this happens, they search for a boarding school so that they can sneak out of responsibility.Those who has spend their lives in similar places, more likely to have problems in life later on. They can easily become criminals because they hadn’t given enough examples about behaving and solving issues.They cannot make new relationships as easy as others do because they can’t really trust no one. It’s hard for them to have family, and satisfying life.Some of them are lucky enough to get in a foster family in time, in this case they have the same chance to work up an ideal life.It’s important for each person in a family to participate in family functions in order to avoid feeling unnoted.The more things that you do as a family, the more memories will reflect in later years.

 

Divorce  (Gabi)

A lot of people get married earlier than they should. Partners think they love each other, but when they get married and move to an own house, the problems are starting. In Hungary the rates are very bad. Men and women also will be strained. It’s worst when they have a child, or children. For them it’s so bad, they feel the pressure and because of that they can’t live a normal life. They can’t accomplish their duties, they can’t relax. I think it’s better if this relationship ends. It’s a vicious circle and maybe it never closed. Parents use to agree. The biggest problem is the money, children and the house. The children (if they are older than 14) have to choose from mother or father. The children have to live without one of their parents and maybe without her/his sister/brother too. In my opinion it’s hard to grow up in this position. A lot of people say that the best solution is to stay together, and try to talk over. Partners must try it, but if it isn’t works, they must divorce, because it’s better for everyone. If they can live their own life, the children can meet every time with their parents, but they don’t have to listen to their quarrel all the time. This is the best way to resolve the problem. If someone can’t solve the trouble without divorce, they must find the best way to split up.

Divorce: a bless or a curse? (Ági)

Divorce is when a married couple decides to live separately and they make their decision official. They do this because they are sure they can’t go on living together, in one household and the only chance for them to be happy is tol et each other go.

If it verificates, i claim it is a bless for them, but the victims of a divorce are always children. usually they are too young to understand what’s going on between their parents, there are only few thing that they can apprehend : that their parents are fighting and don’t love each other anymore. What could a little kid do in this situation? Nothing. They often start blaming theirselves thinking the reason of parents  falling out all the time is their behaviour, that they were bad children. This can go so serious that it can cause depression too! So I think the most important thing to do when it comes to divorcing is to let kids know that they have no fault int he case.  Of course the situation depends on the child’s age. If parents divorce when their child is about two, then it won’t cause any trouble int he future. Living with one parent will be natural for them. It’s also easier to accept this fact if the child is int he late perios of teenage. In my viwe the most problematic ages are the primary school years.

So this decision can be both.  A bless and a curse too. It depends on the attitude of family members, but of course mostly on parents. It’s important to both parent have the same aim: do th ebest for children. They shouldn’t fight for their love by spoiling them. Never do that, it surely will cause a lot of trouble to you and your child int he future.

To my mind divorcing can be a bless on the longrun, if all stakeholder are willing to behave as normal, sain human beings. 

_____________

Less and less marraige

Statistics shows  that tha number of marriages are decreasing in Hungary. Every year there are less couples who want their relationship to be certified. In line with this fact the rate of divorceing is rising. Isn’t it alarming?

I think the cause of having less and less weddings is that couples are affraid of divorcing. Getting married sounds so serious and also there are facts claimed ba statistics, that it’s more likely for them to divorce than to live happily ever after. And I must say I can understand them. These facts are daunting!

The other argue of not getting married is: ’ Why should we ? We love each other without a paper too. ’ i’m sure everybody have heared this at least once. Well, it might be true. But wouldn’t it be beautiful to walk to the shrine in a beautifull white dress while everyone’s looking at you and than you promisse you will always love each other in front of a lot of people and…But  anyway. In this modern age it might not be that important that it used to be a long time ago.

It probably sounds trite, but in our fastened life we do not have the same time to spend with our love than our parents did. Though marrying would contain it. This is what causes divorce. That we are unable to spend enough time with our partner, people are stressed because of working all day long and then they get home crossly so it is likely to have a row about unimportant things.

So I think the key is to be calm. If we wolud be so, we wouldn’t fall out so often. We wouldn’t feel we aren’t loved and we wouldn’t divorce.  Statistics won’t show that scarry facts and young couples wouldn’t be affraid of getting married.

Divorce: a blessing or a curse? (R. Eszti)

Divorce is a very up-to date issue, because there are more and more, than before. These things cause it: youthful marriage because of  pregnancy; husband lost his job, so he can’t earn enough money; cheating, quarrels and so on. 

On the one hand it will be better, if two adult divorce. So it can be a blessing, because the arguments are stopped and both of them have a chance to find the new partner and the happiness. 

Divorce can be more difficult, if the couple has child or children, because it can be a trauma in their life depend on the age. Generally the court decide which parent bring up the child. 

On the other hand it is a curse, mainly for children, because they „lost” one of their parent. If they move to an other place, they will have to get used to the new school, the new friends, and the new step-parent. 

All in all divorce could be a good decision, but not for the children.

____

Essay about the family 

I have chosen the topic on man-woman functions in the family. 

Each sex plays an important part in the family, so let me introduce some roles. 

It is an understood thing that men are head of the family. Their fuction is to supply their child and wife. They have to qualify and after they get a good job. If men good at their job, they will be able to create a safe financial background for their families. There are many cases when men have to take on other jobs just because of the money. 

Women usually take care of their children, do the housework – cooking, washing, ironing - , work at their workplaces and around the house. After the childbirth they have some years to bring up children without work, but later they have to work and bring up children at the same time.  

In conclusion both the one and the other sex have lot of functions, sometimes too lot.  

 

Blessing or a curse?  (B. Eszti)

Nowadays unfortunately lot of marriage ended with divorce. Many of  these couple say that it’s better to live alone than in a bad marriage what both of the partners don’t want and need. 

First of all, let’s talk about why people decide to divorce. Most of it because of problems. Either they were lot of quarels what they couldn’t solve it or they don’t love each other any more.

On one hand it’s better to divorce that a I mentioned but on the other hand I expect it’s unpleasant situation for both of the partners and mostly for the children. Children have to grow up without the presence of the father or mother. They have to grow up saperetely. It’s not easy  for their to get used to the new stepmother or stepfather. Because of the divorce may influence children’s behavior in the school, nursery. Whereas the parents are arguing over who may get more money from the communal children can’t get over the divorce emotionally so they might start using drugs, alcohol, cigarettes.

All in all I think it’s useful to think over these things before divorce.

Effects of technology on family life 

Life has changed a lot so it is difficult to compare .

Families in the past had a more difficult life because they had no technology to make life easier. Our grand-parents spent their time with chatting and playing different games. Nowadays in families children instead of chatting spend their time in front of the computer. Most of their time they watch TV or play videogames. On the other hand technology can help to have more free time.

For example wives does not have to do the laundry or the washing up they just start their machines. Parents must not let children spend their time with the developing technology. Families have to organise programmes which they can do together. There are solutions for example family trips or different common activities. In many families people don’t care about their family life because they have a lot of possibilities to do with the help of modern technology. Parents have to teach their children how to have a good family life because it’s important for being a healthy adult. We can confirm that technology has changed our lifestyle. We must not forget that we can have a lot of fun during spending our time with our family. 
 
 M. Mirella   

Divorce is a blessing or a curse? (V. Betti)

In our days divorce is more natural than 50 years ago. More couples think if they don’t get on well each other, their only chance is getting divorce. It’s more simple like trying to solve their problems. Divorce could be blessing for them. As a result quarrelling and shouting is disappeared, so they don’t set a bad example with their behaviour. They can feel their freedom. They have chance to begin a new life and come to know a person who will love her/him. They can give a peaceful home to their children.

On the other hand getting divorce is a curse. Most of children can’t understand why their parents break. They feel that their lifestyle will be absolutely changed. Parents often start to quarrel about children. Both of them want to live with their children. If s/he is an only child, it’s worse. The parents can do their divorce more complicated. It’s really stressful for the children, as getting use to their new life without one of their parents. The other thing which can cause a huge problem is a new stepparent. Most of children don’t look gladly if a stranger wants to replace their real father or mother. In my opinion divorce is a curse for a child, but for parents it is a blessing. The key to a new better life. 
 
 
 

Family: Marriage is becoming less popular 

Getting married used to be a natural thing between couples. Now more people live together without getting married. It’s not as important to our generation, as it was to our grandparents. In my opinion living together in that way is really comfortable. If their relationship doesn’t work, they can break easily. They don’t have to getting divorce which is a stressful, unkindly thing.  Modern thinking is that, if couples truly love each other, they don’t need  a paper, that prove it.  I think marriage is less important to men, than to women. Women like safety, so they feel like they need to get married. We often hear about single women, who are left pregnant. As I know my grandmother was one of them, so that a have never known my grandfather. I think marriage is important to protect women from being alone.  We shouldn’t let marriage become old-fashioned. It’s a really nice event, when relatives and friends come together and celebrate. Many women dream about marriage and a beautiful white dress. I mean we see that in many romantic films. But in the real live it’s different.  Every second marriage is end in divorce. I think it’s very sad, and I’m glad my parents have been together for many years. It is a good example to me, how I should live in the future.

Divorce – blessing or a curse (F. Vivi)
  
In my view divorce is a bad and unnecessary thing. When somebody make a decision to get marry, he has to think over it. Some years after he has to think about his children because everything change after the divorce. Children have to choose which parents want to live with, and it’s the better when they can choose, sometimes they can’t because of their parents. They have to live in 2 houses,  2 different places. Sometimes they move far away from their friend. So it’s not good for them because children have to get used to a lot of new things. For example:  new house, new school, new friends and sometimes a new family with step-parents and half-brothers or half-sisters. It’s not good for parents too. They have to share out their joint property. They can lost their friend coz they have only common friends. Ont he other hand divorce is very expensive. They buy new houses, new consumer goods. I think usually people could solve their problems but they don’t want to.
 
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Divorce: Blessing or a curse? (Gergő)

The fact, that divorce is blessing or a curse, depends on a lot of things. First of all, we should make clear, what divorce is. At divrocing, a married couple break up their marriage due to some problems, they can only solve by divorcing. A divorcing can pass off fluently and can be trouble free, or can take a lot of time and can be fightful. It’s up to the couple, how they solve their problems. The situation much more difficult, if there are children in the picture. Divorcing has a bad effect on children, especially when their parents fight a lot. In that case, they had better moving away from each other as fast as they can to avoid the quarrel’s bad effect on children. Moving away also can be good and bad to. Children have to leave the place, where they have been living before and move to another unknown place, leaving behind their friends. The good thing is, at their new place they can make new friends and they will have a parentfightless new life. Their life never be the same as before, but better then their parents would have stayed together fighting.

*

Family

I have got a relatively small family. I live together with my parents and my younger sister. My paretns aren’t too old, comparing to my classmate’s parents. I get on well with my family, apart from some smaller argument. Sometimes i have an argument with my sister, because sometimes she wants to make me angry on purpose but they aren’t serious. She is 10 years old and she’s attend to Kodály Zoltán Primary Shool. She learns well and gets good marks in the majority of cases. She’s tall according to her age and a little bit fat, but they say she will outgrow it. I have got a grandfather and a grandmother who live in Mesztegnyő. Sometimes we go and visit them. I get on them with them too. Unfortunately, my other grandmother died 4 months ago tohether with my grandfather who died when my mother was 9. My parents are both working in APEH and my grandparents are retired. I haven’t got any plans yet. I have got some other relatives in Kaposvár. My uncles, my aunt and my 3 cousins also live here. We don’t have any special family traditions, but we celabrate our birthday and namesday together. It depends on, when my grandparents come to Kaposvár from Mesztegnyő. They come once a month in average, and then we celebrate the piled up occasions.

Children Depression (F. Vivi)
 
Nowadays children depression is very common between the age of 10 and 18. Parents can cause it because they work all day and they don’t have enough time to care about their children or some parents are too lazy. They sit down in front of the television or they go out very often and they give their children to a nanny. It’s very easy for them but not too good for the children. They became sad and lonely sometimes they imagine friends for themselves or at the worst they imagine awful things. For example I know about a girl who thought water is blood and somewhere she saw water she was shouting and she started to cry. She had a climbing rope and she saw hanged up man instead of climbing rope. Now she is ok and usually doctors can restore them to health but in my view parents could avoid it. Perhaps it isn’t parents fault only but usually it is.

Divorce: blessing or a curse? 

      We call it a divorce when a husband and a wife break up their marriage and stop sharing their life, money and their children too.

      But is it a good or a bad decision? I believe it depends on the situation. There are many of marriages which could be saved – for example with the help of a psychologist – but there are some situations which can’t be solved. Aggressive parents, parents who hate each other so much that they can’t stop fighting every day are bad enough to cause the final decision of breaking up the marriage.

      And what’ll happen to the children after this decision? They suffer a great emotional pain anyway. They usually feel they are the purpose of the divorce. They loose the connection with one of their parents. The family role model breaks in their mind. They will never trust in the faithfulness of their partner like the ones who came form a whole family.

      What is a divorce, a blessing or a curse? I think it’s rather a curse excluded some special cases. People nowadays tend to take it too easily. They should think about it more carefully. 

Sz. Petra

                  1. A

 

Divorce (Cs. Eszti)

   Unfortunately nowadays more people are divorcing so there are lots of one-parent family. There are many reasons for this. Forexample the early marriage (when the young people hand over head get married), cupboard love or the love will be change into like.

   The divorce has a good and bad side. It’s good that the children don’t need to listening that  their parents are quarreling. Usually after the divorce they  move an other place. The children must get used to new home.

    It’s bad, many children grow up with one parent. Father or mother don’t live with their children. Many time the parent get to know somebody and start a new life an other man. When the stepparent is kind it’s ok, but if she/he rude than the children shall not like. Some times the children after the divorce will be spoilt.

    My parents are divorced when I was 5 years old. I was very young but I remember  they  wrangled many time. It was really bad. After that we move  off. Now I live with my mother. I see my father in the holiday, he come our house, but we speak every week on the phone. 

 

 

 

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